I’m just going to put it out there–I love aphorisms. Ditty phrases that pump you up, make you smile, peel you off the floor when you’re down.
They’re like GIFs with words.
So I’ve decided to start listing some of my favourites so that I have some maxims to look back on any time I feel like life is the windscreen and I’m the fly.
(That’s windshield to you US folks.)
They’re my YES! Quotes, because that’s what I want to say when I read them.
Here’s two to get us started.
Half time, that is. Hmm, that doesn’t sound quite right.
Let’s start again. It’s almost here…the moment so many of you have been waiting for. And by “so many” I mean my Mom.
What I mean to say is…my next book is almost on the shelves. YIPPPEEEE!
Please welcome Half A Giraffe? to my lineup of picture books. Coming to all good booksellers in the grand ol’ United States (and probably to an online retailer that is named after a really long River [not the Nile] or perhaps a tribe of kick-butt women. You know what I’m saying’…) in September 2018!
Here’s a lovely picture of 1/2 giraffes drawn by some lovely children from a lovely book fair I went to in Maine.
The *real* Gisele was drawn by Richard Smythe, an artist/illustrator here in England. Many kudos to him for such a sweet portrayal of a little giraffe who longs to be just half a head taller.
If you’ve ever wished to be a teensy bit stronger or a wee bit faster or a smidge different from who you are, this book’s for you.
Enjoy it folks!
(Except you guys in England. for some reason it’s not on sale there yet. But nevermind!)
Look what my dad found in the window of the lovely Owl and Turtle Bookshop in Camden, Maine.
Can’t wait to be there this summer to visit in person 🙂
Let’s imagine there’s a power cut at the Louvre.
You’re wandering the majestic halls for the first time and you’re hoping to see the Mona Lisa. You’ve heard all about this great painting and you are excited to finally see a masterpiece.
You somehow arrive at the Renaissance section (this Louvre place is huge), and there she is… at the other end of the gallery. This is it, your moment.
Then the lights go out.
Da Vinci’s beautiful lady is somewhere in front of you but you can’t see a darn thing.
Of course you brought your keychain flashlight (motto: always prepared), which you power up and shine ahead of you.
And what you see is a forehead. An amazing forehead, mind you. An unparalleled hairline if you do say so yourself, but that’s it. The moment you’ve been waiting for and all you can see is the tippy top of Mona Lisa’s head.
Where’s the enigmatic smile? Where’s the impenetrable stare that follows you as you cross the room?
HOW DO YOU SEE THE BIG PICTURE?
Here’s where critique groups come in. (You knew I had to get to my point some day, right?)
For writers, critique groups are like an extra set of flashlights (okay, ‘torches’ for you Brits).
You may think your story is spot on brill (“A-OK” for you Americans) but maybe you’re just looking at a forehead. What if there’s so much more of the masterpiece to be discovered?
I know it’s scary to have your work read by others (What if they hate it? What it they’re mean to me? What if it actually stinks and they’re just being polite? Self-doubt much anyone?) But critiques can bring so much more to the table than what you originally wrote. Some of it might be as useless as Madame Lisa’s elbow but some might shine a light on that little part of the upper lip that curves delicately into a cheeky smirk. And KAPOW! You have a better book.
Dare I say….masterpiece?
So get out there and show your work to people. Heck, the postman probably has an opinion, right? You never know who might help you turn your spotty forehead into a Renaissance triumph.
(Too much? yeah, well, I’m just going to roll with it.)
… a festive yet relaxing, entertaining yet snuggly, rip-roaring yet storm-free, exotic yet homey, and most of all joyous and positive holiday.
Read lots of books, drink copious amounts of tea, raise whirlwinds and enjoy life.
There are a lot of wannabes out there.
And Maybe if I had the time…
And Someday I’ll…
I’ve talked to quite a few people lately who say that they’ve always wanted to write a children’s book. That they have a story inside them. But that’s where it ends. They talk about it, think about it, complain about it, dream about it — but don’t DO it.
Fear about not being good enough? Fear that they don’t know how? Fear of feeling silly or stupid or dumb?
There is really only one way to get over all of those anxieties.
Use the immortal words of Nike. Put the fears to rest. Just do it.
And yes, you might feel stupid, and yes you might think your story is dumb. But nobody starts out perfect. And to be honest, nobody ends up perfect either. I have nearly fifty children’s book manuscripts that I’ve started — thinking they were amazing ideas — and then realised that some plot detail didn’t work, or the story had been written before and wasn’t unique, or I just fell out of love with the idea.
These are not failures. I might return to some of those manuscripts in the future, or use bits of them in other stories. But if I hadn’t written them down I would have nothing.
Don’t have nothing.
Get those stories down on paper. Out of your head. Crap or not.
(The mantra above my desk is a not-so-child-friendly Anne Lamott quote: “Sh*tty first drafts.”)
Stop being a wannabe and start being a writer. And maybe nothing will happen with those stories –you’ll put them in your desk where they’ll languish for years. Or maybe something wonderful will happen, and you’ll be reading your books to your grandkids someday. But you’ll never know unless you get out that pencil or quill or keyboard and write it down.
Just do it.
OK, not really, that is actual FAKE NEWS. I did sit at a table near her at a restaurant once, but I doubt she remembers.
But now that I’ve got your attention, I want to tell you about my upcoming BOOK LAUNCH!
Since we’re being honest here, it’s not technically a launch, as the book came out in January, but it’s as big a party as this wee picture book is going to get, so if you’ll afford me a little creative license…
Next Tuesday, here in Glorious Blighty (oxymoron anyone?) This Is a Serious Book will be thrust into the hands of its adoring public (that’s you people!)
There will be cake! There will be party games! Most importantly, there will be wine! I take that back (not the wine part, there will be wine, don’t worry), but MOST IMPORTANTLY it will be the culmination of 3 years’ wait from conception to birth of a 32-page bouncing baby book. (And let me tell you, 3 years is a long time to be pregnant with anything!)
So this launch has been a long-time-comin’ as they say. But it almost. didn’t. happen. Twice. The first time because the publisher that accepted the manuscript went out of business, but that’s a story for another time. The second time it almost didn’t happen because I didn’t make it happen. That’s the story I want to tell here.
The (second) publisher of This Is a Serious Book is a lovely, independent publishing company that graciously accepted the book that fell in their laps after the first publisher dissolved. But truth be told, this book was never going to be their money-maker. So after a few advanced copies were sent to reviewers and a nice tweet from the publisher on the day it hit the shelves, the publicity basically stopped.
Now I wasn’t naïve to the fact that this was going to happen. I’ve read enough about the publishing industry to be well aware that most books get a polite nod from the marketing department and are then relegated to the has-been department. But it doesn’t have to be that way.
So this is the part where I had to make it happen. (It being anything.) Here’s where I get all “Lean In” on you:
- I had a chat with my local bookstore owner and she was keen to host a party for a local author (win-win for both of us).
- I decided for a late-afternoon/evening party that would be kid-friendly rather than a weekend-morning ‘reading’, because let’s be honest, it’s the parents that buy the books. And parents like wine.
- We chose a date and I contacted the marketing department of my publisher to let them know. They were excited and offered to put up the money for said wine. (Hooray!)
- I sent them all the details and their design department made a lovely invite. (Double hooray!)
- I created some puzzles and colouring games for the kids who would be coming, since kids need something to do At All Times. Plus their parents will be drinking wine. I asked the marketing department if they would make photocopies of the games and they agreed.
- I sent out invites to every one of my kids’ classmates, even though many of them don’t read picture books any more. Who cares! People buy books as gifts (children’s book sales were up 11.7 percent in the UK for much of 2016) and who better to invite than supportive friends?
- I made a list of columnists and reviewers who should be invited as well, and sent them the details.
And that’s it! Next Tuesday there will be a party to support This Is a Serious Book. I feel like this has gone from 0 to 60 in no time flat. Will this party rocket my book up the bestseller chart? Probably not. But am I happy that I got the attention of the publisher and made this happen? Absolutely!
So, there are pleeeenty of things I should be doing today as I wait for launch day (more on that later).
I could be doing work
WORK WORK WORK WORK WORK WORK WORK
but I’m not.
I could be cleaning the house
but I’m not.
I could be working on my next book
LA LA LA ONCE UPON A TIME LA LA LA
but I’m not.
So what AM i doing, you ask?
Yes it turns out I’m actually an old lady who would like nothing more than to sit around and knit scarves and snoods (a snood is like a thneed. Re-read The Lorax for more info.)
Maybe my next book will need to have a knitting theme.
Once upon a time there was a big ball of yarn that wanted nothing more than to be unraveled….
Nah, I’d rather being doing it than writing about it.
But back to THE LAUNCH. Ta Da! There will be a launch (only a month late!) and it will involve drinks and nibbles.
Why? You ask.
Why not! I say.
And it’s going to take place at the very lovely Ink@84 independent bookstore here in North London.
I’m a jittery hot mess. Which is why I’m knitting. You knew that knitting relieves stress, right? It all comes full circle, doesn’t it!
More on the launch in the next post.
Look at this beautiful page! The face on this donkey is just priceless, don’t you think! And this one is one of my favorites:
(But don’t even get me started on the number of words there are in the English language that mean the same as “fart”! Parp, pop, toot, wind, gas… shall I go on?)
Sometimes I love my job.